I was sitting at my favourite watering hole – the Antiqued Gold Anchor. It’s called the Anchor because it is a-weigh down by the water. I was nursing a drink at the bar – poor little drinky-poo – I don’t think it’s gonna pull through.
The bar is so old that the bartender is listed in the antiques price guide. I was contemplating the arrow of time, and the damage it had ravaged on my life. You want to talk about the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune? Sister, I could spin you a tale.
Suddenly – the door bangs open, and in walks this Dame. She’s an Eiffel alright.
She really is a dame too – she got all recognized up for her charitable works – they call ’em Dames instead of Sirs. Dame Dam. Her family owns the local water works.
She’s an old friend of mine, and we’re usually on good terms, but now she charges on over like a herd of elephants. Well – I guess like a herd of elephants. I mean, I’ve seen elephants, but I’m not sure I’ve heard them. Must take a pretty gutsy person to herd elephants.
She charged right on over like she was holding a credit card, and just like a bolt out of the blue – slapped me right upside the head.
Knocked me back so hard I saw stars.
“Damn, Dame Dam,” I said, ” I charge extra for that sort of thing!”
“You told the vicar you were going to link me up with him and the Millers for a foursome.”
“Yes – I did,” I said, still pulling myself together. “Remember, you asked me to teach you to play golf.”
She glared at me.
“Links? – link up? – golf is played on links – it’s a joke.”
She continued to glare at me for while. Then she started to laugh. She threw her head back and howled with laughter. She laughed so hard that the tears rolled down her face. She put her head on her arms on the bar and laughed until she could barely stand. And you know, you just can’t be around someone laughing like that without it rubbing off – and so I started laughing, and then the bartender, and the old couple in the corner and possibly even some folks at the bus stop outside. It was some laughter.
Finally, she stopped laughing and wiped her eyes.
“Bartender,” she said, and she uttered a my favourite phrase in the English language – “A round for everyone, on me.”
I climbed back onto my barstool, inspected my sickly drink, say my final goodbyes to it, and put it out of it’s misery. The bartender sloshed in a re-fill and I turned and lifted my drink in a toast to the Dame.
“Dame Dam,” I said – “Next time you don’t care for my comments, just moon me instead. It’ll hurt a lot less.”
“Well,” she replied, clinking my glass, “Next time you make a joke, try and be more charming.”
Sale – Assorted Supplies 20% off
Supplies – what are “supplies?” Isn’t all of this “supplies?” Well – you make a good point – but generally – we use the term “supplies” to refer to stuff that you get for more than one project. Like spools of beading wire and thread. Glue. Wire. It’s not a perfect system – but we’re open to suggestions. Anyhoo – 20% off this category of stuff until July 12th!
Supplies -> #8 Pearl Cotton
Supplies -> Adhesives
Supplies -> Beading Wire -> Beadalon
Supplies -> Beading Wire -> Econoflex
Supplies -> Beading Wire -> Softflex
Supplies -> Cord -> 5 Wt Rayon
Supplies -> Cord -> Clear
Supplies -> Rubber
Supplies -> Stretchy Cord
Supplies -> Decoupage Sheets
Supplies -> Epoxy Clay -> Apoxie
Supplies -> Epoxy Clay -> Crystal Clay
Supplies -> Gilders Paste
Supplies -> Lacy’s Stiff Stuff
Supplies -> Lost Wax
Supplies -> Metal Clay
Supplies -> Metal Tubing
Supplies -> MetalFX – Mica Powder
Supplies -> Nylon Mesh Tube
Supplies -> Packaging
Supplies -> Patinas
Supplies -> Resin
Supplies -> Silk Thread
Supplies -> Silver Silk Knitted Wire
Supplies -> Soldering
Supplies -> Storage
Supplies -> Thread -> Accessories
Supplies -> Thread -> C-LON Size AA
Supplies -> Thread -> C-LON Size D
Supplies -> Thread -> Fireline
Supplies -> Thread -> Invisible
Supplies -> Thread -> K.O. Size B
Supplies -> Thread -> Kevlar
Supplies -> Thread -> Miyuki Size B
Supplies -> Thread -> Nymo
Supplies -> Thread -> Sono
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Supplies -> Thread -> Wildfire
Supplies -> Ultra Suede
Supplies -> Wire Lace
Supplies -> Tubing
Supplies -> Renaissance Wax
Supplies -> Beading Wire
Supplies -> Cord
Supplies -> Swarovski Hot Fix
Supplies -> Wire Luxe
Supplies -> Epoxy Clay -> Ceralun
Supplies -> Cord -> Parachute Cord
Supplies -> Iced Enamels
Supplies -> Concrete and Pigments
Supplies -> Thread -> Hana
Supplies -> Huichol